Do you ever have that one person that just annoys you? They did something one time that really ticked you off and now they just irritate you. Or maybe you were once really good friends and the other person betrayed you. You forgave but things will “never be the same”.
We have all experienced these kinds of situations and processed them the same way. I have been studying lately about what the Bible has to say about dealing with them. Jesus prayed for His disciples that they would be one as He and the Father are one (John 17:21).
The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit are individual but inseparable. One of them cannot do something that would cause another to leave the tri-unity of the God-head. Why do we as mere men think that we can stand above such unity and refuse to let God heal a relationship?
“We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love his brother abides in death.” 1 John 3:14
“By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.” 1 John 3:16
We choose to live in death when we don’t love. It is one thing to say that you have forgiven and another thing entirely to be able to lay down your life for someone that has hurt you. I believe that for us, it isn’t just literal, but figurative. When was the last time that you did something inconvenient for you that meant a lot to someone that gets on your nerves?
This goes for coworkers, family members, people that you go to church with; take that one person that “ticks you off”, and write them a note. Tell them how much you appreciate something that they have done. You have to change the way that you think about them. You have to tell yourself that they are worth laying down your life/will for. Jesus did. Who are we to say that they aren’t worth the effort.
Every relationship is worth the effort. Pray for that person. Ask for God’s blessing over their lives. It can be hard to do at first, but it will soften your heart toward them. Jesus said that if we don’t forgive, God can’t forgive us (Matthew 18:35, 6:15).
I believe to the degree that we do or don’t forgive, God will or won’t forgive us. Do we want God to give us the cold shoulder? Do we do it to others? Do we want things to “never be the same” with our Heavenly Father? Then why do we think that way? This is not discounting the fact that sometimes the other person does not want to reconcile, but have we done everything in our power to bring peace to the relationship? Is your heart at peace with the other person? Most importantly, is your heart right with God about the situation?
I have to say in closing that I am far from perfect. This is something that we as Christians give ourselves to daily to keep our hearts from growing hard. And that as we let God deal with our hearts, He does. We want the love and forgiveness of God to flow to us, so we must let it flow through us. Forgiveness for others is born out of a heart that wants to be close to God and wants nothing to come between Him and you.
For the researcher’s heart:
Matthew 6:9-15 – The Lord’s Prayer
Matthew 18:21-35 – The Unforgiving Servant
1 John 3:14-18 – Loving each other
1 John 4:11-12,20-21
1 John 5:1